Another childless Christmas

Welcome visitor from to Getpregnantblog.com .

I can’t believe another Christmas is upon me without a baby. Another year gone by. Last year I promised myself that we would have a baby in 2006. This was going to be our year. I had imagined holding my tiny little boo, showing her the Christmas lights, buying sweet little gifts for her. And yes, waking up all night with her. I figured we would not be doing much cleaning or decorating for the Christmas cause we would be so wiped out with our newborn. Our newborn. Still waiting to be born I guess.

It is so hard not to lose hope. But I have faced so many Christmases with dashed hopes. I have imagined sharing all the wonders of Christmas with my baby so many many times. And each year my mom prays that I will be blessed in the new year. I have stopped praying. I just wish fervently.

Sometimes I feel so angry with God. I feel so victimized. I am not decorating this year. I am not putting up a tree or lights. Every time I look at it I will be reminded of the baby I don’t have, but had hoped and planned to have by now. I will reminded of my empty empty womb. It is amazing how emptiness can hurt so much – how can empty space hurt you?

Related Topics

Posted in Fertility | |   | No Comments »

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 9th, 2006 at 3:21 pm and is filed under Fertility . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.