Why does this have to be so frustrating?
to Getpregnantblog.com 
.
So yet another spot today with some cramps – feels like endometrial period pain coming on. But my period is never like this – only once have i gotten a few days of spots and then a full period. But then that was recently so maybe its the onset of menopause or some other change that signals a reduced ability to get pregnant. This is just so frustrating.
Of course I fought with the hubby. I picked on him for not saying anything about it and pretending that it was not even happening – the onset of my period that is. The truth is that nothing he said or did would be right around this time. I need to be angry. I need to blame someone. I need to vent and yell and be a bitch and hate the world because I feel so victimised.
Unfortunately he confessed that because it hasn’t happened, he has started to wonder if we are ready to be parents! Can you imagine this? Years of trying to conceive and he is now wondered if we are ready to be pregnant and bring a child into this world? And he has been thinking this way for a few months now and has not said anything? Well, I just went ballistic hearing this. And did he really have to pick this time of the month to mention it!!! Men!
I am so angry at him. At God. At my useless reproductive system. At the world. Why the hell is this happening to me? Why me? What is so wrong with me that I must be singled out to be victimised like this? The easiest simplest trait of womanhood, yet I can’t have it? WHY! Why can’t I just quietly and unevently conceive like all those 13 year olds, and those drug addicts and those women who end up having abortions for whatever reason? Why must this be so hard for me? Does God really hate me so much?
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2 Comments »
September 14th, 2008 at 10:41 pm
hi i read your blog and it really tugged at my heart strings. i feel the same exact way that you do. its hard for me to get pregnant and then yet every time i take that test it says no. i know the pain. its not your fault and you cant blame yourself. God doesnt hate you. i just wanted to say that i understand.
October 28th, 2008 at 12:55 am
omg i completly agree me and my fiance have been trying for a yr now and still nothing it makes me soo mad seeing everybody having kids or being pregant and its like damm i cant get pregnant at all and im tired of seeing all the pregnancy and mom commercials too it hurts my feelings